Life's a struggle. Sometimes.

Sometimes, no matter how much you want to do something, no matter how much you want it to work, life gets in between.

That's how I have felt these last few days. Whenever I planned on writing something there was always something else. It seems that struggling through life is sometimes more exhausting that one would suspect. And it's not anything special that happened, just everyday stuff.

Okay, I admit that work is quite demanding on some days, but I'm not complaining. I find my balance in the gym twice a week. It's just that when I come home after a long day, I'm tired most of the time and can't force myself to anything more than neccessary.

I'd rather not do anything than to sit down and watch some telly and relax or just check instagram and pinterest for some new pictures of my (still) favourite series Downton Abbey and/or its actors.

And then, there are those days when I cannot seem to do enough. So many things are going through my head then that it almost makes me feel dizzy. Remember this and don't forget that...

I think I have written down the date of one of my friend's goodbye-party on more post-its than I can count. And it's still about three weeks away so there'll probably be even more of them around when the time comes.

Of course, I also have to remember all the dates of one of my favourite times of the year. It's Berlinale (International Film Festival of Berlin) in February again! And like every year I can't wait for the programme to be published. This time, I have it all planned: I know my working hours, I am ready to book the tickets for all the interesting movies on time. And like every year, I hope I'm able to get the tickets I want and not be too late.

This time, I also have to make sure not to clash the film viewing with going to the musical theatre. Yes, after I read the news about the Stage production company closing down a theatre I'm still too upset to spend any more money on their productions. So, I decided to give it a try - of more of a chance, really - and go see "Elisabeth" again. My hopes aren't too high, I must admit. Because, after having seen the most amazing performance of the original main actors (and two of my all-time favourites, I might add) a few years ago I know that nothing ever will top that. Still, I love the dramatic music and I love the story which is so full of melancholy and I love to know that I definitely will have a good weep in the end.

And I'm even more enthusiastic now that I know the one actress I didn't want to see in the role of the Austrian emperess is NOT going to perform that day. Seriously, could it get any better?

I'm sure I forgot some date of importance now, because that is the way I constantly feel lately. With so much more going on in my head such as the fact that I still don't know for sure if I'm going to stay at my workplace after May or not. Having to find something new is always somehow troubling. Don't get me wrong, it's not exactly difficult to find something new but still, one likes to be safe.

I'd like to enjoy the months I might have left where I am, but I guess I'm too much of a troubled mind when it comes to existential questions. Sometimes I think I don't even know where I'm headed. Professionally.

But these are just my unfiltered thoughts and I'm rambling now... what I'd like to say is:

Sometimes, even if you try to enjoy every moment and only do the things you like, it's just not as easy. Some days, life's more of a struggle.